I Got a Comment: I Gotta Comment

So, I got a comment today. It’s exciting enough for me to share with the class. The comment is for my post “You Don’t Know What Hell Is: A PSA About Summer Vacation,” which you can read here if you would like.


Sheryl Hyder writes: “Seriously? This sounds more like a story with perhaps few facts about the island thrown in than an actual experience. Everyone knows how hot Georgia is in July..the heat and humidity are not specific to Jekyll Island. Anyone that is “camping-friendly”, especially with a tent, knows to keep their coolers and foodstuff in the car and away from racoons. That is just common sense. No one waits an hour for the percolator to make coffee. There is a Starbucks in one of the hotel lobbies but there is no Target store or Whataburger on the island whatsoever. The beach you walked on that was crowded with driftwood is not a hop, skip and jump from the public beach. You have to park on the side of the road and walk a couple hundred yards to it. It’s not crowded with driftwood either. It has trees that have died as the ocean has taken the beach away and all that remains are their skeletons. It really is beautiful. I could go on as I have spent a good amount of time on the island whereas you seem to have gotten what little information you have on it from some website. I think that you should actually spend some time on Jekyll. You do tell an amusing story though.”

This was me when I read the comment:

10 things

OK, I guess the overall criticism here is that I did not research my story. And I have to admit that I am guilty as charged. I did not look up a damn thing to write this story: everything came from my memory, which is subject to the same frailties as everyone else’s. Even yours, Sheryl. I think this adequately explains why I thought there was a Target and a Whataburger on the actual island, though in fact they were both on the mainland.


Oops. I’m going to blame the ever-frustrating and all-sweeping powerful tides of time working actively to make me forget a traumatic event that happened over 3 years ago for that one. My apologies.

As for your comments to the effect that, “Of course it’s hot in Georgia in July, how could you be so stupid?”, I believe I was excessively clear about how idiotic we were to even go on this camping trip straight to Satan’s anus. And P.S.: that summer a giant high pressure air mass settled over the southeast coastal region, so in fact the temperatures were higher than normal and it was indeed specific to Jekyll Island.

Regarding the cooler-in-the-tent issue, you are right. We should have realized. But we didn’t. And we are camping-friendly. We just had a bad day. Thanks for pointing it out, you big jerk.

You are correct in that the driftwood beach is not next door to the public swimming beach. We did get in the car and drive there. I am sorry that my shitty transition offended you. I’ll try to do better.

You claim that the beach was not crowded with driftwood, yet…

safari screenshot

The Jekyll Island official tourism website seems to agree with me.

And as for the coffee percolator thing, I really don’t understand why you’re fighting me on that. I am addicted to caffein. I know exactly how long it took. It took an hour. And then we gave up.

You comment reads as if you are the earth mother goddess of Jekyll Island, and I have wronged you by repeatedly saying that I did not have a good time there. I sorry that you have taken what is supposed to be a light-hearted memoir so personally, but I feel compelled to remind you that it’s just a write-up of my opinions and experiences, and the fact that you don’t like it does not make it untrue. I hope you continue to visit the island and have pleasant experiences there, but don’t for a second think that anyone who doesn’t have the same experience must be a liar-liar-pants-on-fire. That’s just silly.

I appreciate your compliment on my ability to tell an amusing story, though I do think I will decline the offer to spend more time on Jekyll Island, as I’ll be busy stabbing myself in the eye with a pencil. In conclusion, thank you so much for your feedback and would you like any help removing the giant stick from your tight, tight ass?


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